midtown shuffle

you're dead to me

2005-11-20T06:50:00.000-05:00

hey folks!
i've moved...both literally and in blog space...check me out at city shuffle

my personal katrina

2005-09-14T23:07:00.000-04:00

every once and a while...when you least expect it, tragedy can strike.

today started out in a bright, uplifting manner - i got into work on time...ready to take on the last few issues on a project and make a deadline. yet in the midst of checking my email and somewhere between printing a recipe and opening a word doc - my computer crashed.

now, i dont know exactly what happened...but a scene i thought was limited to the windows world - the blue screen of death - flashed before my beautiful mac. it appeared to be shutting down...appeared - yet it just froze there.

i restarted...and it just began "thinking". 20 minutes of "thinking". nothing.

i restarted again. the same.

i booted with a dvd - ran disk utility...it was fine.

and then...then...eliminating a disk problem...i tried reinstalling my system.

it took forEVER. ALL day. and then it failed.

i can't find my hard disk.

i'm fearful i lost everything.

work files.
family pictures.
years of email.

all gone?

i'm trying to remain calm. perhaps its god telling me its time to start anew?
luckily, my work files are on my pc and email at work - for the most part - scattered but there.

i'm headed to the apple store tomorrow for one last attempt to get my files back - but i'm not hopeful.
wish me luck!

if i ignore it, it will go away!

2005-08-31T22:14:00.000-04:00

on september 11, 2001 at 8:46 am, president bush began his day sitting with second graders for a photo-op to highlight his education plan. at about this same time, images of the burning towers from nyc were being broadcast around the world.

as it became clearer that our country was under attack - he continued to sit with elementary school children while the country he was leading fell into a panic.

on august 29, 2005 at roughly 8 am eastern, president bush began his 4th week of vacation on his ranch in crawford texas. at about this same time, hurricane katrina - winds over 145 mph - began bearing down upon new orleans and much of the central gulf.

as it became clearer that a major metropolitan area was on a crash course with devestation - he continued his vacation, speaking on such pertinent topics as social security and the iraq war.

thank you president bush. thank you for cutting your vacation short, approaching the subject nearly 3 days later and acting so swiftly to once again resolve a national crisis.

god. what a leader.

weather tantrum

2005-08-30T00:45:00.000-04:00

okay...i know its been a rough 48 hours for folks.

katrina has caused havoc and the media biz is going crazy trying to keep up with the story...

heck, i'll be honest, i've been geeking out on this storm since sunday morning...but when your weather guy goes off the deep end, perhaps its time you cut his coffee and put him to bed.

check out this video.
(it takes a min or two to load).

who said what?

2005-08-17T16:43:00.000-04:00

who said the following quotes...and what action did they say this about?

[1] "Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is."

[2] "President [ ... ] is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy."

[3] "Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years"

the buck stops where?

2005-08-16T14:22:00.000-04:00

its rare - if ever - that i have agreed with president bush.
but in the case of cindy sheehan, i do.

he should NOT talk to her.

he's right when he says there are thousands of people that would love an opportunity to speak with him...i, for one, am one of them.

no, he really shouldnt speak to her...

AND i also agree with him, that withdrawing US forces from iraq right now would cause more harm then good. iran, syria would surely pounce upon a struggling iraq and a much broader, regional war would ensue.

no, its time he speak to all of us.

its time that the american public, the us armed forces, and the iraqi people stop suffering from the mistakes made in this administration. if george bush truly wanted to honor of our men and women in uniform...the noble cause of freedom...its time he find out what went wrong in his administration...in our intelligence gathering...and make sure this NEVER happens again.

president truman had a plaque on his oval office desk - "the buck stops here".

perhaps, mr. bush should look in his history books - since he is doing some reading on his 5 week vacation - and find out exactly what that sign means.

what goes up...keeps going up...

2005-08-11T15:29:00.000-04:00

okay.

when the hell are gas prices gonna stop rising? i've caught myself recently - NOT - doing things because i didnt want to waste gas.

now, if i lived some place that didnt require a car perhaps this wouldnt matter....but then again, with prices reaching all time highs - $66/barrel today - and really no reason for this to stop - practically every aspect of our lives is going to be getting more expensive.

...and when an historic energy bill was just recently passed and there is hardly any provision for alternative - VIABLE - fuels in this time of record fuel costs, you gotta ask yourself - why?

no matter what year it is you quote, we know our oil supplies are going to run out. as that time approaches, prices for goods and services will skyrocket. why aren't we proactive about ending our reliance on oil?

because oil, not money or gold, makes the world go 'round.

eventually, though, people WILL reach a breaking point.
cars will have to get smaller again.
less trips on the roadways means less congestion and better air.
more funding for mass transit intiatives.
new technologies will have to emerge.

i guess time will tell.

in the meantime, my advice: take mass transit if you got it. at $1.75 - even $2.00 - it clearly beats my $2.50/gal anyday.

hot child in the city

2005-07-22T14:37:00.000-04:00

who says atlanta is hot?
check out these stats for july:

city  days above 90/days above 95
washington  9/1
chicago  6/1
new york  4/0
atlanta  3/0

this sunday the forecast is for 100F here in chicago. ugh....and you people thought i would complain about the cold winter!
pleeez.

(watch for that post in november ;) )

jetstream lover

2005-07-22T14:10:00.000-04:00

back up in chicagoland this weekend.

plans for this weekend

hitting charlie and the chocolate factory at the navy pier imax.

snagging a drink here.

inevitably a few trips to the local watering hole.

may take a peek at the body worlds exhibit at the museum of science and industry.

lots of couch time

watching 'willy wonka and the chocolate factory' (we are both BIG fans and will have to compare/contrast).

meeting up with these boys

more couch time

...and who knows what else may come around...

its been fun coming up here to chicago these past few months...but really looking forward to bringing chicago! down to atlanta. he just got clearance from his boss to begin taking some time off starting in september - yay!

drunky brewster

2005-07-16T03:05:00.000-04:00

ugh. just returning from all the shenanagans from this evening!

lucas' concert at eddie's attic was sooo much fun.
liz, scotty, jb and even jk showed up for the music and to root on lukie....and.....AND....he played the 'brad song'. (to be very honest, lukie, i saw quite a few people bobbing to the music *hint*hint* ;)

afterwords, the crew ventured over to the brickstore pub on the otherside of the square.
have i mentioned before, how much i love decatur? its the city in the city...complete with subway access...cute shops...fun bars...and great restaurants.

the word of the evening: consumption.

aiding in the debauchery...i had a rugby function to hit at the atlanta eagle - our monthly bar/jello shot night...and those jello shots - lord....they can sneak up on a fella.

i convinced scotty to head over there with me upon breaking the news to him that brenji was moving to sfo and this was one of their last evenings out with the bucks.

brenji - km and bb - for many reasons, i'm sad to see you go...
what a wonderful pair of guys - intelligent, fun, real - its hard to find that...*hug* but SOOO excited that i have yet another reason to visit sfo (mr. bull...you need to look these boys up!)

ANYWAY...2 double mandarin and tonics...and 4 jello shots later, my alterego known affectionately in some cirlces as 'drunky brewster' made her appearance.

messy.

thank god i was not driving!

it was about this time, that chicago! gave me a buzz...

he had a chitown rugby board meeting and afterwards had hit a bar where the now imfamous 'makeout scene' had occurred. he had promptly txt'd me earlier to let me know he was mere feet from the sloppy kiss spot. :)

ANYWAY. he's so cute. on his walk (stumble) down roscoe to halsted to the alley behind his pad, he told me about his day. he had been feeling under the weather for the last week and tonight was one of the first nights he felt well enough to venture out.

i've said this to a few of my atl friends...but its about this time in the 2 week cycle of seeing him, that i start to feel a lil' insecure...begin to really miss him...question if this is gonna work. i think thats only natural...me being human.

inevitably, chicago! always puts those concerns to bed...he calls...says everything i wanna hear...tells me how much he misses me...sends me cute pictures of him and his friends...takes an interest in my life - both triumphs and troubles - and with every passing week, it becomes apparent...he IS for real. its kinda scary - in a very good way.

after the eagle, a few of us skirted over to the 'tic. i havent been there in over a month. it was fun, yet i left there - as i have every time i've gone out recently - appreciative of my boyfriend.

i'm kinda liking this 'relationship' thing. yeah, its not ideal - and as one of my close friends pointed out - we've only hung out a total of 19 days...

BUT ya know what?

those have been some of the best 19 days of my life...and i'm thankful for this experience.

the hangover tomorrow is gonna be a bitch - ugh.

chicago! revealed

2005-07-11T13:21:00.000-04:00

if you are curious who chicago! is...what he looks like...or interested in how we met - its all out there in technicolor for the world to see.

if you get logo watch...its all there - even a sloppy kiss mom would be proud of (lord).

so little to say, so much time...strike that...reverse it

2005-07-11T12:36:00.000-04:00

i've been avoiding my blog. why?
sooo much has happened to me that its just seemed to snowball on itself.

i'm intimidated by it.

i've wanted to blog. trust me. but i feel like i should have also blogged about the other things that have happened in my life like pride, toronto, the fourth of july, my bf meeting the parents, our lil' condo party...

BUT i feel like, in order to do that, i'd need several hours that i don't really have right now...
...so instead, i'm gonna cop out...give a quick summary and be done with it.

PRIDE - this year was different. 1) I wasnt excited about it 2) i didnt hit the parties like years past 3) my boyfriend and most of my friends (with the excpetion of ruggers) were out of town. i spent most of this pride around a table or tossing a ball in an attempt to get interested folks to sign up for rugby.

a few highlights
- hitting a small but crazy party in ormewood (the 50/60's music videos were worth the trip alone! tb you would have LOVED it!)...
-leading the rugby team down peachtree street while orchastrating the 'days of the week' song (minus the rash i got from wearing that dirty jersey for 48hrs straight and my horse voice!)

TORONTO - work sent 2 of us to toronto for a perl conference...and believe it or not, i actually picked up a few nuggets of wisdom that i'm hoping to incorporate in my job. all and all, it was a great trip. jk and i hung out with ad rock for most of it. we met him at the last yapc i went too back in 2003.

a few highlights
- the cruise out on lake ontario with the toronto skyline in the distance. very cool - provided you ignored the boat full of geeks and the bad 80s music.
- canada is weird. when you are there, you feel like you are here - except there's just something different you cant put your finger on.

THE FOURTH - its become a tradition with my two closest friends - sw and lukie - to roadtrip to my folks place in nc for a lil' beach time, home cooked meals, rest, relaxation and AMAZING fireworks over the ocean. this year was no exception. the weather was beautiful, the ocean warm and the mike's hard lemonades kept flowing. :)

a few highlights
- turning my cell phone OFF for 4 days.
- getting a nice tan so some b!tch queen in the gym doesnt pipe up and say 'its is summer, you could get some color' ( i actually heard someone say that at la fitness...lord ).

MEET THE PARENTS - another reason the fourth was AMAZING happened to involve chicago! he flew in for the weekend to share in the 'fun in the sun'. by default, since we were at my parents house...he met jim and joan. to be very honest, i was a nervous wreck about it. its the first time my parents have meet anyone i've been dating. ever.

a few highlights
- in typical chicago! fashion, he made my nervousness disappear. he never ceases to amaze me - and contiunually makes me realise that he's for real. he LOVED my folks. in fact, when i was taking him back to the airport, i asked him what the best part of the weekend was - besides seeing me of course ;) - he said all of us sitting on our front porch having cocktails and talking with my parents about life, love, work.
- having my parents LOVE chicago! my mom actually pulled me aside and said ' dont mess this up - he's a keeper, he's wonderful, brad'.

THE CONDO PARTY - there's nothing like seeing all your neighbors SMASHED. this past saturday, the guy above me had a house warming party. the whole thing was in question because of the 'great piedmont blackout of '05' - but power and thankfully our a/c came buzzing back on.

a few highlights
- getting to know my neighbors better and meeting some really fun straight folk. who knew? :)

proud

2005-06-22T10:41:00.000-04:00

as i was driving past the 12th st entrance to piedmont park, it hit me - pride is this weekend.

i mean i knew it was coming...heck merchants are hanging their flags...outwrite is look particularily festive...but with me being in and out of town, with a majority of my friends no longer either a) living here or b) in town this weekend...i've been kinda ho hum about the whole thing. smack on top of that this (mommie dearest) and that (i'm going to toronto on monday)...pride this year is more of an annoyance...

really, how many south carolinians with rainbow fannypacks or tennesseans with mullets can one endure? after 5 yrs of atlanta pride, i should be able have an answer!

but all that aside, there is one thing i am looking forward to at this years pride - lucas.

if you are free (even if you arent make yourself free) this saturday @ 6pm sharp on the qtv stage, lucas will be performing.

lucas has been my friend for nearly 5 yrs...and back in the day, i would swing over to his place for pasta, to gab about boys, life and ultimately for some song time. things have changed...but we still share those moments - just now he's got a cd...his fan base has grown (i mean my MOM knows all the lyrics to his songs!)...he performs on stages instead of a loveseat...and with all that, i'm tremendously excited.

he's taken his ideas, his songs and has shared something with the world...and for me, lucas is someone i'm extremely proud of...

so its official

2005-06-18T10:23:00.000-04:00

so its official - he's my boyfriend.

i'm so happy.

(btw...its not like i need labels or anything...its still just nice to hear :) )

i gotta secret

2005-06-17T17:33:00.000-04:00

have you seen this?

picking up my baggage

2005-06-17T11:43:00.000-04:00

each one of these times i've come up here, i've gotten really nervous right before i see my man...all that nervousness evaporates instantly once i see him. this trip has been the same. i'm not quite sure why. but it happens - those butterflies do a number to my tummy.

ssssoooo...me and my collywobbles head towards baggage claim...and who do i see? chicago!
his face lights up...this 6'3 man, dressed in his suit, slowly walks towards me and gives me a huge hug.

geesh its good to see him.

last night we met up with a few of the boys from the chicago rugby team at a place called 'big chicks'. its always interesting to see people's reactions when they see me in town. normally its been a surprised double take. last night, it was big hugs and catch up time.

after figuring out how to turn on his tv (i had one of those - 'am i getting old moments'...i dont have tivo and i started to get frustrated with figuring out how to get it to work! lol)...ANYWAY, i'm gonna head down to chicago's version on the cruisy caribou (broadway and w. aldine - literally next door), and do some work.

chicago! has to work a bit today and some tomorrow am...he has a second meeting with a client. it may be his first 'closing' - and he's only been there a month. i'm so proud of him - lol

off to the coffee shop...where's my americano?!?

'i'd like one ticket to chicago...'

2005-06-16T18:08:00.000-04:00

so, i'm at about 30,000 ft and decided that upon watching atlanta fade into the distance...now might be a good time to jot down a few of my thoughts.

here's my first list...idea stolen from akafrankgreen via trayb :)

atlanta is a beautiful city. hands down greener than any i've ever been too.

you dont feel too bad leaving work early when you fly over it and see very FEW cars in the parking lot at 6pm.

the layer of smog you ascend into when flying out of hartsfield is disgusting. those people that dont think the atl has an air quality problem need just look up (the sky is suppose to be blue - brown!)

at 30,000 ft you have alot of space to drop. bottomline though, thunderstorms suck when you are in a plane.

since when did delta start offering 'choices' for snacks? geez, i feel spoiled...animal crackers and a diet coke - now there's a dinner for ya!

i miss my dog. is that silly? she's always there for me and i need to do a better job at spending quality time with her. i felt bad as i looked onto midtown and imagined abby sitting by the door waiting for me to come home. (ok, i'm about to cry now).

i'm a lil' nervous about this trip. 'we' are probably gonna have a 'dtr' (defining the relationship) talk. where is this going? i'm at least on my way to chicago right now...its bumpy but damnit i better get those animal crackers.

its always been a bit of a 'dream' of mine to arrive at in a city and have someone waiting for me just beyond the security zone. the last few times, chicago! has been working and i've either taken the 'el' or he's picked me up outside...will this be my time?

aighty...more later. the beverage cart just pulled up.

(btw, anyone know where my title for this blog came from? :) )

the more things change...

2005-06-16T12:48:00.000-04:00

they say that 'the more things change, the more they stay the same'.

my personal experience has been that people are the same way. in many respects thats a pretty comforting notion. one of my best friends and roomies of nearly 4 years, tb is swinging thru the atl to help publish his last issue of david.

yesterday on im, after he had arrived, i received a message from him saying 'atlanta hasnt changed at all'. my response to him was, well, you've been gone for ONLY 5 months. what were you expecting?

perhaps its because SOOOOOO much has happened in his life - moving to nyc...with a bf...entirely new world - that somehow he expected things in atlanta to have changed at least slightly.

but atlanta has continued going at that same pace it ever has...

the atl was his home for nearly his entire life...and as we commented on over cocktails, a sunset and my front stoop - its comfortable for us. scotty, tb and i have all lived here for at least 5 yrs. for scotty and i, this - for better or worse - is home...and to a lesser extent now, its also still home for tb. that was evident when i asked him when he was going home - and he thought i was referring to gainesville, ga - and not nyc.

eventually, tb will see nyc as home...and yes, dare i say it, even nyc we gain a level of comfortablity.

the danger of comfortablity is that it can quickly slip into boredom - be it at work or where you live. that is the realm i've found myself trudging deeper and deeper into with the atl...and my job.

lukie has a song that doesnt get much play time ('cept when i request it :) ) called 'brad'. now he claims its not about me...but i take alot to heart in the song.

there's a part of the song where he says:
"we all get really bored, until we finally get off our ass."

my time's closer than its ever been before...and thats pretty exciting.

-- 5 hours until chicago!

domestic terrorists

2005-06-15T12:29:00.000-04:00

these people disgust me.
westboro baptist church
they hide behind the veil of freedom of religion and speech to gay bash - and now protest fallen soldiers in the Iraq War.

surely our goverment is monitoring this groups actions?

well, probably not. it is - afterall - a christian fundamentalist group...and since they are christian, they certainly would never think to bring harm to this great country or its citizens (at least not physically).

i mean, its not an islamic fundamentalist group...but then again, we call those 'terrorists'.

falling from grace

2005-06-15T11:36:00.000-04:00

who am i kidding...this woman - nancy grace - has been a disgrace by attacking people based upon her passions and NOT facts or the constitution. this woman's career is and hopefully, WAS, based purely on sensationalism.

whether she likes it or not - or for that matter anyother person - in this country you are innocent until proven guilty. in the michael jackson case, if there was a SHADOW of a doubt, the jury can't convict him. PERIOD.

he's innocent.

quit crying in your cornflakes nancy. find some other grave misjustice and staple yourself to that cross.

the first time you meet me, i'm probably drunk

2005-06-12T18:24:00.000-04:00

not that i subscribe to astrology...i *just* think its fun...but if you look up my sign - more often than not, it will make reference to pisces affinitity for drinking. seems our true feelings tend to pour forth when we've induldged ourselves.

in the past, this has gotten me in trouble...blurting out things that i've been trained here in the atl NOT TO SAY. (its all about the game here in atlanta...the chase...dont let people know too much, too soon.)

this past friday night, i went for some tds with a coworker. he and i needed to discuss some work issues...and it seemed essential that it were done over a pitcher of margaritas.

meanwhile...in a land not toooo far away, chicago! was at a wedding of a long time friend (and the susbsequent reception).

when i got home from dinner at nearly 11am, i decided i'd give chicago! a call to see how the wedding went. well...he was still at the reception...but extremely happy i had called. i asked how the wedding went...how he enjoyed it...how his friend sean was doing (straight friend from ne who was there for the wedding)...and then he said this ' i showed him the pictures of you...said there's brad my boyfff....uh...i mean...'

WHAT?

i put him on the spot...i mean i was drunk...but i suddenly got a little more sober.

'well, you know how i feel...we've been dancing around the conversation...' he said.
meanwhile...i'm nearly doing backflips in my living room.

we agreed we should talk more - but not while we were drunk.

so i changed the subject to my issues at work...i'd been hesitant to mention them fully to him...i didnt want to be one of those people that bitches nonstop about work.

he insisted i talk to him...he wants to be there to support me in anyway he can.

WHAT?

this is stuff i would say...i guess i'm finally dating someone into me as much as i am into them.

when we hung up, i sent him a txt (as i normally do)...this time, i wanted to let him know, i felt the same way about him...and that i've never been so happy.

my return txt - ' i think i'm falling'

the next day, we spoke on the phone. he reiterated, that he meant what he said the night before...and cant wait to see me.

i'm scared - but in a good way.

i see him in 4 days. I CANNOT WAIT.

advance to illinois ave.

2005-06-12T18:01:00.000-04:00

last night, lukie (lm) had us over for a little board game night.
it was rainy, nasty outside and being on the 20th floor, the wind was whipping up...definitely not a fun time out there.

with the soft glow of a candella, scotty (sw), lukie, bri (lukie's old bf), ashley and her new 'friend' eric all huddled around the kitchen table. we decided on monopoly...a game i have not played in a LONG time (and i come from a long line of board game players!).

geesh, this is a long game!

we started at about 930...we did not finish until nearly 1am! CRAZINESS. i mean, the peach vodka, cran and tonic concoctions lukie whipped up along with the competitive nature that seemed to surface seemed to make the time fly.

true to real life, i soon found that i had over spent...and ultimately had to fold.

i know it was just 'monopoly'...but i must say, that was one of the best saturday night i've had in quite some time.

no thumping music...no flashing lights...no figuring out who would be where...when...and how you looked.

just the boys, gathered around the table...when and why did things get so complicated?

this is the longest day ever!

2005-06-06T14:56:00.000-04:00

...LORD...

summer to come?

2005-06-06T00:02:00.000-04:00

geesh...what a long sunday.

its about midnight now...i'm a lil' buzzed...and its a sunday.
i have a 10 am meeting monday...which for most of you probably sounds late...but for me, is FIRST thing in the am, its a good meeting...dont have to prepare much or at all for it (on patenting some work i've been doing) so it should go well.

regardless..i woke up this morning to find that my jeep had been picked thru...cds everywhere...car papers on the seat...chinese take out on the ground...and a BIG ole' bottle of leather cleaner - not mine - that looked as if it had been used as lube for sex.

NASTY.

abby and i had planned on going to pick up some condiments from the store for a cookout. ugh.

it was one of those georgia days where the sun was beating down, the humidity at 400% and merely walking out my door caused my shirt to get soaked in sweat...thank god for pool parties. :)

yes...summer has arrived.

sw and i figured out how to enter the complex (a mere 2 blocks from our pads) with cocktails in hand - the patented 'bacardi lemon and kool aid' (now i know that doesnt sound like a winning combination...or something you dare ask a bartender...but trust me...it goes down like water :) )

cp was at the grill and managed to whip up some tasty burgers and dogs...yum. but soon - and i mean SOON - sw and i needed a refill. we decided to head back to the condo and make another batch of our koolaid surprise.

well, we didnt make it very far on our journey back to the party.

my upstairs neighbor caught us and invited us up to see his new pad. if you recall ('nice wood' blog), he's been working like a dog up there...doing lord only knows....well, we now know.

he'd gutted the kitchen...amazing
he's a HUGE art collector...
he's built shelves and a bed...
...and he's been listening to dance music. (huh?)

the jury is still out on this guy. sweetheart, but whats his story - he's been tight lipped.

ANYWAY...across the hall from 'nice wood', the family there is trying to sell their condo and inside, their agent 'gazelle' - who happens to also live here - was lounging inside. 'gazelle' - god love her - is a peach. she gets most of us in the complex to do her grunt work...and she always seems to be out on her porch with a glass of wine in her hand and definitely some in her belly. what a character. VERY opinionated - and suprisingly conservative (yet accepting of us 'gays' ;) )...i mean i had my hat turned backwards...and she told me to put it forwards. what gives? :)

SOOO as we toured - what should be sw's new place (and he knows it) - the first crack of lightning hit...followed by the torrential rains. by the time it ended, the mass of folks from the park had to resort to piggy backing to make it across piedmont.

me? i grabbed a refresh on my cocktail and headed back to the party. the water wasnt that bad...once you got in. :)
silliness insued once i got to ja's...geesh...MESSY. cp even ended up calling chicago! to tease me...ugh.

ultimately, we ended up taking the party to woofs.
yes...the drunken stupor migrated to public....but it was fun.

rugby's been in recess for about a month...so it was great to see my boys again....and to watch a friend (se) meet a really CUTE and overall 'good vibe' type of guy. the look, actions, happiness of se remided me ALOT of my interactions with chicago! (i even txt'd him about it! )...they ended up leaving together. yay!

we left the bar to head to the next one after about 3 hours there!!!

geesh....i hope i dont have a hangover tomorrow.

water.
water.
water.

did i mention i have a 10am meeting? :\

i must have my "taken" on

2005-06-03T21:29:00.000-04:00

back in the day...tb and i use to talk about the weird phenomena that happens when you suddenly start dating someone. it seems - and maybe this is unique to the atl - but it seems as if the other boys can sense it.

recently, i've been getting cruised by boys that before might as well had run me over.

tb use to equate this to a fragrance...and in a spritzing motion, would proclaim that he had his 'taken' on.

why is this?

is it the confidence we exude when we know someone out there cares about us and we care about them?
is it the jealous 'we want what we can't have' factor?
is it something chemical?

whatever it is, i've got it going on...and for the time being, i'm very content spritzing some into the air and walkin' thru it. :)

why georgia?

2005-06-03T21:05:00.000-04:00

I am driving up 85 75
in the kind of morning
that lasts all afternoon
im just stuck inside the gloom

Four more exits to my apartment
but I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

Cuz I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

Am i living it right
am i living it right
am i living it right
why why georgia, why

I rent a room and i fill the spaces
with wood in places to make it feel like home
but all i feel's alone

It might be a quarter life crisis
justa a stirrin in my soul

either way
i wonder sometime about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

am i living it right
am i living it right
am i living it right
why why georgia why

so what so i've got a smile on
but its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
dont believe me
dont believe me
when i say ive got it down

everybody's just a stranger
but that's the danger in
going my own way
i guess it's a price i have to pay
still "everything happens
for a reason"
is no reason not to ask myself

If I'm living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right

why tell me why---
why why georgia why

--john mayer 'why georgia'

purple is the new black

2005-06-01T21:42:00.000-04:00

as things between chicago! and i get progressively more intense, i'm gonna try and keep what i talk about to a minimum.

sufficed to say, i've been home for about 30 hours...and since then, i've purchased a ticket back to chitown and he has purchased a ticket to nc to come with me to my folks beach house over the 4th. so things are GREAT.

so now thats out of the way...prior to me heading for my memorial day madness, i decided to do a little shopping. now i need to be in a MOOD to shop...and it doesnt happen that often. but i NEEDED to get new clothes...so i turned to the only person i knew that could help: my best friend (are you happy) lm. :)

this boy can shop. and by shop, i mean, 'grab items frantically off the racks and starting a changing room' shop. our shop of choice during our lunch hour(s) was express men.

LOVE THIS STORE.

except there was an awful lot purple. i'm not really what you would call a 'purple' kind of guy...or so i thought. but lm convinced me i needed a stretch item...something that pressed me out of my normal routine and edged my comfort zone...in the adreneline rush, i agreed.

glad i did...i felt good in it.

seems this weekend was all about purple.

my stretch shirt - purple.
the flowers in millenium park - purple.
chicago!'s broken nose from playing rugby - purple.
walking thru the leather mart AND trying things on - purple.
conversations about feelings - purple.

right now, i'm immersed in purple...my comfort zone is being stretched...and instead of turning my back on it or being concerned about what others may think of how i look in it...i'm trying it on and i'm excited about it.

is the blogsphere really flat?

2005-06-01T21:32:00.000-04:00

i didn't want you to think i was one of those countless bloggers that seem to fall off the face of the earth.

indeed, i've had a busy week or so and blogging has had to take a brief respite.

BUT i'm back...and there is much to discuss...

the eagle has landed

2005-05-21T04:00:00.000-04:00

sooooooo this weekend we are celebrating my best buds 30th bday. sw doesnt technically turn 30 until thursday, but with plans to jet outta town next weekend for craziness in chitown, we needed to ring in 30 this weekend.

the plans were set...they've been in some shape or form for at least 3 weeks. i must say, the pressure of a 30th bday is immense, especially when you are the best friend. i had specifically asked sw for what he was looking for - something small, intimate. i hope he enjoys the weekend we have set out for him.

this evening, we told him to meet us at joes...nothing too out of the ordinary, until his best friend from ct arrived.
liz.
now anyone that knows sw has at the very least, heard of liz. she's a center fixture in sw's past and present to some extent...and it was great to FINALLY meet her.

truth be told, sw knew something was up. he knew someone was flying into town.

aside from liz's insistance that sw and i hookup - for the record, NO. i love sw...but i dont LOVE sw....she and i are a pair. i've realized...in the 3 short hours..i am liz. liz is me. i think that if sw did some soul searching, he'd come to that conclusion too.

what started out as a celebration of scotty...turned into a roast.
god love 'em.

honesty, i wouldn't turn him in for the world. always there for me and fun to hang with...he's a keeper. i know he feels the same way, 'cause when i even HINT at the possibility of numbered days here in the atl, he gets defensive...much the same way i was with tb.

my drunk ass left the party at sw's (where we had migratred)...to head to the eagle to do some bartending to raise funds for the club.

okay...fun! it was great to see my team again. these men mean alot to me...i'm invested. even da showed some glimmer of humanity when i gave him a hug.

after 10 jello shots...we piled into a car to be driven home.
geesh...messy.

when i go out now, my mood is changed...my focus recentered. i'm with my friends...i'm out to make new buds...i'm out to have a great time. its awesome.

in the meantime, i'd received a txt from chicago! (he had given me a buzz in the midst of the day - during his break...i was in a meeting - damn!)...i checked it on our 'journey' home - he's made it to omaha for his friend's bachelor party...chicago! is from omaha and he's been looking forward to this quick trip 'home'...

i'm nervous about memorial day - how much will i see him since i'm staying at a pre-arranged hotel? who are these guys staying with him? will he be doing the crazy parties for iml?

my nerves are relaxed a bit when i get txts from him telling me 'made it! xoxo' when he's landed on a trip.

i feel a little easier knowing how much he appreciated my flowers (i sent to his house after his first day at his new job (something simple))- and they did not scare him off.

games are everywhere - trust me - in my work...in my relationships. its nice to know - at least early, that me expressing myself and being me - is a good thing.

so in the meantime, i've just tossed milton bradley out the window...that bitch can get a ride with the hungry hippos.

culture of stupidity

2005-05-20T13:26:00.000-04:00

why are there court cases and discussions about removal of evolution as a scientific reality? [READ]

why is the united states falling behind in research and development when it comes to stem cells? [READ]

are we really arrogant enough to think that if *we* dont do something the rest of the world will back off?

the united states needs to wake up and understand - we have seen our day.
we are falling FURTHER and FURTHER behind in r&d due to the morality and special interest wars raging in this country.

this is 2005 people - in 11 days we will be closer to 2010 than the year 2000....i wish the bureaucrats in washington would wake up from their 1920s pipe dreams and get this country back on track.

piedmont battle

2005-05-20T12:27:00.000-04:00

last night i headed out with eg to see a long standing and popular atlanta parody - 'peachtree battle'.

eg is big into hob knobbing - perhaps 'cause he's a lawyer and definitely because he is passionate about TONS of organizations in metro atlanta. i mean he KNOWS arthur blank. at age 28, he's done quite a bit.

regardless, tonight we headed to the ansley playhouse with the 'friends of piedmont park'. it was a special performance the cast was doing to help raise funds in opposition to the parking deck proposed for the park. the wine was flowing...heavy.

we made our way into the theater and i realized, looking around 1) we were the youngest there and 2) my parents need to live in atlanta. progressive, passionate retirees.

while i'm against the deck, i'm not going to be crushed if it were put in place. to these people though, it meant ALOT. i know it is *just* a deck...and there is soooooooo much other stuff going on in the world...BUT its great to see people exercising their rights.

as the play began, i got goosebumps. i've wanted to see this for at least 3 yrs. its one of those 'things' i think every diehard atlantan would recommend seeing before ya left the city. and did i mention the HOTTIE actor? wow!

andrew dipalma - yum...whenever he was out on stage in that ever so tight navy polo...i couldnt help but drool.

anyway, eg and i scampered over to 'halo' for the weekly gay ritual of overly priced cocktails in a smokey bar below the biltmore. we briefly stopped by 'toast' (since it was on the way) for a snack where eg lamented about his body (which is amazing - i think he does it for attention) and i recounted my recent frustrations about work.

to be quite honest, halo wasnt all that bad last night - perhaps its because i hadnt been out in quite some time and with my new 'i dont care about you queens' attitude, i cut thru the pretention with a knife. it also helped that i ran into rn - a friend who lives across the street but mainly due to my commitments, we never see eachother.

dunno...was really good to see him. oh and he LOVES my abby...and may end up watchin' her when i skip up to chitown next weekend for rugby (and chicago!).

when i got home, there was an email from chicago! signed with xoxo...it feels good. you know i may be setting myself up for heart ache, but why not enjoy it while it lasts. afterall, we only go around once, this moment is already the past....

all and all...it was a great night...and oh yea, keep the deck out of piedmont!

how bazaar

2005-05-18T17:10:00.000-04:00

yesterday afternoon, i gave my buddy lm a buzz. he was down in the big easy - promoting his new cd - and with both of us out of town, it was a must that we catch up on our adventures. lm and i go thru periods where both of us are crazy busy yet some how when we get together, its like no time has passed - and its always a blast.

he arrived back into town around 7 or so but had to go to 'bazaar' - located next to the fox - for a cd release party for one of his friends, madison park. i'd never been before and both our schedules looked crazy for the rest of the week so i decided to tag along.

i finished making some dinner and walked over to the meet lm at his pad. the view last night was amazing. its not often that the skies are so blue, the air so warm and the humidity non-exisitent...the sunset from the 20th story balcony was truly wonderful.

we poured some cocktails and headed out on our little adventure. there was something about last night - i dunno if it was the weather - if it was the energy lm always gives me - the fact that i was getting a buzz on while walking down peachtree - or still in afterglow from the weekend - whatever it was it certainly didnt feel like a tuesday evening.

on our walk, we shared some of our frustrations with work and questions that have been swirling in our minds about 'whats next' with our careers.

its kinda scary. i'm 28. i've wanted to be a meteorologist my whole life. since i was a knee high, i knew it. but by age 22, i'd accomplished that - arrived at my company i love, doing what i enjoyed, in an awesome environment (work and city).

6 yrs later, i'm beginning to think that perhaps it has served its purpose and the clock is ticking before i make a change. having my close friend group all but disappear to other cities (and countries) over the course of the past 2 yrs doesnt help either. i've always been a little envious of their step into the unknown...afterall, i havent done that for 6 yrs and after year 4, atlanta became the place i've lived longest in my life.

atlanta IS comfortable...maybe too comfortable?

after a few (okay 4) stiff cocktails AND after meeting some awesome new folks, we stumbled back out onto peachtree. on our short (or long walk for atlanta folk) 9 block walk back home, i got a craving for some of those vortex tater tots - yum.

well, wouldnt ya know it...at 1130p, the vortex kitchen was closed.
curses, foiled again!

its probably for the best...but it was just 1130...but on a tuesday...and oh, afterall, this is atlanta.

10 shots of espresso - now where's my crown?

2005-05-17T11:58:00.000-04:00

okay...i dont want you to think this is gonna turn into one of those blogs where i gush about my 'feelings' with every post. so i feel compelled to tell you about my challenge yesterday.

every morning, i cross the street to the caribou for my liquid crack - an iced americano with an extra shot (6 shots of espresso). the boys over at the 'bou have it down to a science...in fact, some days they see me coming and get the drink started.

just recently, my coworkers and i have been jetting to a caribou closer to the channel up here in cobb. i think most of us have reached a new level of frustration so the afternoon coffee run is a good way to release some steam. it turns out, the best friend of the last guy i 'seriously' dated is the manager of this particular caribou. at first is was a little awkward...but now, its free shots. :)

yesterday, as we strolled in around 3p - i was challenged. ex-bf's bf informed me that someone had been in just the other day and exceeded my normal 6 shot drink placing my reign as caffeine whore in jeopardy. that person drank an 8 shot americano.

mere childs play - i would do 10.

after chugging about 2 shots, we were able to get most of it in to the large iced glass. keep in mind, i had already had 6 shots in the am...this drink would make 16 shots.

the remainder of the day - which wouldnt end until almost 330am! - was spent gabbing, sweating and me being STARVING.

infatuation must be crack

2005-05-16T12:59:00.000-04:00

they say love is a drug.
infatuation - arguably a derivative of love - has to be, without a doubt...crack. its horribly addicting and feels so good.

why? here are a few reasons:
1) having someone tell you they cant wait to see you - and know that they mean it.
2) walking into their condo and instantly feeling at home.
3) seeing him for the first time and having any anxiety about flying up to a strange city to see someone you just met - disappear.
4) the first kiss of the weekend and how it lingers for just a second longer as you realise this is so right.
5) lying on the couch watching tv wrapped in his arms while the rain falls outside.
6) snuggling in the morning and fitting so perfect together.
7) noticing his cute manerisms and how he looks at you.
8) how he keeps you close while you walk on a cold night to help keep you warm.

and most importantly: having to continually remind yourself about reality.

the reality that your life is 700 miles away and not knowing how you should be feeling.
YET knowing what you are feeling, and not knowing what to do about it.

i'm so confused.

as chicago! drove me back to midway, his hand on my knee and listening to music i had to concentrate on the fact that i would be returning in just a few weeks. i had to ignore the sappy songs on the radio and keep focused.

it wasnt until i sat on the plane that i lost that focus - i couldnt deny reality anymore and i nearly broke down.

you see, whenever you are high, the come down is a bitch...and the higher you are, the worse it is.

there are so many questions i wish i would type - because they are floating thru my mind - yet i know if i typed them, i'd sound ridiculous. perhaps i'm being immature...maybe i'm so inexperienced that merely a man showing interest in me gets me all tied in knots...or maybe, what i'm thinking isnt so silly.

i've felt so good over the past few weeks - and chicago! is the reason. i'm going with it.

is that so wrong?

so wrong, yet so right...

2005-05-16T11:35:00.000-04:00

okay. so i was wrong with my last post. anyone could plainly see, that was most likely a defense mechanism - trying to keep my hopes down for this past weekend...convince myself that i'm happy here in atlanta even though most of my friends now live elsewhere.

what was i thinking?

chicago update to follow...

honeysuckle

2005-05-12T12:21:00.000-04:00

for the past several mornings, when abs and i go for our morning potty walk, i've noticed this familar smell. i discovered, wedged between the stores and our property, a honeysuckle bush.

so what, right?

well, its one of the things i love about atlanta...here amongst the towering buildings is a bush that is normally found in a forest. it wasnt planted there...it isnt part of the 'landscaping'...yet some how that bush found its way to this particular spot on piedmont ave, between these particular buildings, and has managed to flourish.

i'm on the eve of travelling to chicago. EVERYONE keeps telling me how i am going to love it. perhaps, but i keep looking at the weather up there - and i ain't lovin' 46f and rain. :) that aside, i sometimes think people are too quick to draw comparisons between the atl and other cities.

comparing atlanta to other cities is - to borrow the adage - like comparing the big apple to orange county.

approaching 5 million people, i can still - in the heart of the city - look up through groves of trees and see rising, shiny testiments to the strength of its economy and progression. yes, i travel - by car - for over an hour a day just in transit to/fro work...maybe thats the price i pay?

we have our problems - sprawl, pollution - but these are NOT unique to atlanta. consider that atlanta's population has nearly quadrupled in the matter of decades, and perhaps, we really aren't doing that bad.

where else can you sit on a porch in the shade of oak trees while smelling the honeysuckle and watching workers place the final touches on yet another new, shiny towering building?

eventually, i'll leave this city...but when i do, i'll be quick to point out the things i will miss about atlanta and not so much the things i could do without.

countdown: 18 hours until my flight! :)

this ain't kids dodgeball

2005-05-12T12:10:00.000-04:00

have you heard of this?

kinda nifty...decide to, say, grab a drink at your favorite watering hole...but you wanna see if any of your friends are close by to snag one with ya. just send a txt to this site...and dodgeball with find any of your friends within 10 blocks and send them a txt telling them where you are!

neato!

its friendster for your phone.

who the hell is carl sanders?

2005-05-09T23:08:00.000-04:00

if you have EVER driven out i-20 east of atlanta, i'm sure you have noted a few things:

1) georgia's a heck of a big state. in fact, its the largest east of the mississippi. but honestly, when you are on hour 6 of what turns out to be a 9.5 hr trip and you are *just* crossing into the state...you wish it were more the size of say...delaware - or - rhode island. i suppose its not all that bad...

BUT...

2) its SOOOOO boring. when highlights of the roadway include 'madison' or the 4 seconds it takes to cross 'lake ocoee' - this is a problem. nothing but pine trees and hills...up, down...a straight line for 200 miles - throw a lil' south carolina into the discussion and you can add 'columbia' to the list of snazzy destinations - oh and about 150 more miles. again, its not THAT bad - provided you have enough cds...

BUT...

3) every 1/2 mile there is a friggin' sign for this guy: CARL SANDERS. now, if i die - okay, when i die - if i'm famous, and they think of naming a highway after me - PLEASE - for the LOVE OF GOD, find a more exciting roadway than i-20!

it turns out, this fella was the 'first' of the new south governors in georgia. perhaps if i grew up in georgia, this guy would mean something more to me..but sadly, he's just a road sign on the second most boring roadway in america. (the first is route 15, but thats another story...)

countdown: 4 days!

6 cds and 2 hours of npr

2005-05-08T20:35:00.000-04:00

friday, abby and i loaded into the jeep and set out on the 8 hour trek to the beach house. 8 hours sounds like alot...but if you think about it, its really just 6 cds plus 2 hrs of all things considered on npr. granted, its a much better trip with another person, but abby is a good companion (until she starts snoring).

when i arrived, the weather was less than beach fabulous. 49 degrees, 40 mph winds, rain... NOT pleasant.

there are a few things you need to know about 'beach time'.
1) dinner occurs promptly...usually at 530 or 6. if you are here, you EAT. if you arent, leftovers are in the frig.
2) the beverage refrigerator located at the end of the kitchen island is continually stocked with diet cokes and mike's hard lemonades. you drink all day, and the coke fairies come in the morning and fill that baby back up.
3) if you've been to the beach, you shower outside.
4) your dog will be pampered - from ocean time to long walks - you are certain she won't want to come home.

this trip was no different. delicious food - marinated london broil, grilled corn on the cob, shirmp and pasta, and a family favorite 'hot lettuce'. my mama kay (grandmother) LOVES making the hot lettuce for us...its become a tradition whenever she is here. (btw, she was here :) )

by saturday, the weather turned around - 70s, sun...the way its suppose to be.

my sister made the trip down from raleigh to hang out. after dinner we walked across THE road (hwy 58) to a little martini bar where were all (mom, dad, sister, AND 84 yo grandmother) proceeded to get smashed. :) there's nothing like watching your grandmother getting hit on. lord.

today was spent in recovery. its a hard life - spreading out a blanket, laying down on the beach all day - but somehow i've managed to make it.

tomorrow we head back down i-20...it looks like its gonna be a great day to drive. the top is coming off the jeep for our '6 cds and 2 hours of npr' trip home.

countdown: 5 days until (chicago!)...he's so cute on the phone. :)

cinco de loco

2005-05-05T23:30:00.000-04:00

while millions of americans celebrate cinco de mayo, this day will forever be know as cinco de loco for myself and my old friends. back in the day we had a *crazy* cinco de mayo party...which ultimately ended up at the old 'ground zero' with a friend jumping all over the roofs of cars - too many margaritas + bad party favors = near death for a law students career. thankfully, the situation got undercontrol thru the help of a friendly security guard. :)

REGARDLESS, this evening i headed to bowling with dn. i LOVE the guys at bowling...and am loving this diversion from the everyday rigors of this modern gay life. lol. beer, bowling balls and gay men queenin' out.

everyother thursday, fun bowl in lil' mexico, 830p...if you ever want to come, drop me a note.

chicago!

2005-05-04T15:05:00.000-04:00

it was one of those weekends where you feel like you've been on vacation - so much has happened - that it couldnt have possibly been *just* another weekend here in the atl.

the boys from chicago were in town for a rugby match. now, the dragons have whored onto our team in london and in nyc but this was the first time we were going to meet the entire team...and play against them.

we won our game - 42-10 - so needless to say, the weekend was AMAZING.

as i've alluded to, the original chicago guy staying with me - jb - was a little different. all weekend we compared him to bobo...yet, his stay with me culminated in the poor guy pulling his luggage down piedmont with the camera girl from logo in pursuit (the camera wasnt on) on saturday night. just for clarification, the guy left because he wanted too...not because i forced him to leave.

why?

after the third half, one of his teammates - 35, 6'3, blond, blue eyes, sweet (henceforth known as 'chicago!') - wanted to rest. i offered my bed...and the next thing you knew, we were together until monday am. what can i say? after leaving jungle sat night...we stopped by and asked jb to simply knock on the door before he came into my apartment.

is that so horrible?
well, apparently it is...and the next thing i know, he's storming down piedmont.

oh well.

long story, short - chicago! and i really hit it off. so much so, (surprise) i'm headed to chicago next weekend (on his suggestion). i've never been up there so in more ways than one, i'm heading into some new territory.

quick update...

2005-04-29T17:50:00.000-04:00

i was invited up to see what upstairs guy is working on....
OMG...its amazing. a bed with shelves....i'll have to snap picts when he is done.
i'm really impressed!

nice wood!

2005-04-29T16:54:00.000-04:00

chicago is in town and one of them is staying with me. sweet guy, but the more and more i live by myself, the more and more i'm enjoying it immensely.

right now the breeze is blowing threw my condo...abby is guarding me from her perch on the porch (who am i kidding, she's waiting to see all our neighbors whom she adores!). its the perfect day to take a nap.

god love 'em, chicago. he seems to continually want to talk to me. i mean, come on...he's in a new city, drunk - doesnt he just want to take a nap? lol. i suppose i should do a better job entertaining, but hey, i gave him a key...go explore!

in the meantime, let me relax on the couch, type my blog, enjoy the warm breeze and listen to the sounds of the roaring buzz saw from above!

yea, i said buzz saw.

my new neighbor above me is building some furniture up in his pad. the saw cranking, his nail gun pumping, working his hunk of wood, a sweaty 30 something man, shirtless, dripping... uhh...

okay, maybe he's not shirtless - yet.

(tb, this would be my type for $600)

upstairs guy moved in last weekend....the details of why he departed his homestead up north to a condo down south remains a mystery...but sufficed to say, i'm working on getting to know him better.

despite his handy work using a saw and not the bedazzler, my gaydar is getting returns...but for the time being i'm banking on the fact that he's a friendly soul.

1+2+1+1+2...

2005-04-29T03:34:00.000-04:00

step 1: define our variables
'saturday night hottie' = a guy i met last saturday. we cruised eachother for nearly the entire night...i even heard him say to his friends he thought i was hot...but he was shy. so i introduced myself. gave him my number and realised he was the same guy i cruised on 'oak hill' one day last fall. i mean...the boy's sweet...attractive...and modest.

'faux date' = a guy i've been mondo flirty with. he and i will go do 'date' things. but will ultimately talk about non-date topics like other boys. we will then hover inches from eachother when we are saying good night but neither will make a move.

'philly' = a guy that i was crushed out on last yr. was gonna be in town tonight, but when calls are made to hotel, they have no record of him.

step 2: determine equation
'saturday night hottie' + 'faux date' + 'philly' + random evening encounters = some type of lovin'

step 3: substitute values for variables
no call from 'saturday night hottie' boy... +
no call from 'faux date' boy... +
no call from 'philly' boy... +
+
there was a 'crush' sighting - typically, he tries to avoid me, i get flustered, and verballize something from across the bar....smooth.
+
oh! and lets not forget my best friend flipped out on me at dinner for talking politics. ( i mean MADE A SCENE - totally a page from my drama book..thats my material bitch! lol )
=
0

sh!t....what does the answer key in the back of the book say is suppose to happen?

the smell of gin...

2005-04-29T03:21:00.000-04:00

tonight...the chitown boys hit the atl and in the course of 4 hours we managed to crawl to 5 bars! ouch.

needless to say...the hangover i will be nursing will not be pleasant - but it was their first night, and its a half day for me tomorrow. i can struggle thru. :)

one of the places we managed to stumble into was wetbar. now, lemme just say, i have been to wetbar twice this year - the second being TONIGHT. i use to work the door there during its hayday in '04...but since have had no reason to stumble back.

this evening tho, 'sean cody' boys were gonna be there and this peaked the interest (and other things) of a few of the guys - namely pc.

it was a typical sea of pretentiousness....and yet while typical, oddly unfamilar. could i be getting old? falling out of the scene? who the hell were some of these people...and why do they seem to know everyone else.

it dawned on me - yes, i'm getting old. but these fellas were me...they were tb...perhaps tj...even cm. they were us...then. just out of college...fresh on our jobs.

wow.

so anayway, there i am - dressed in shorts umongst the latest from universal gear, you know how it goes. hanging with the few dragons that made it to the atl early...watching the display of barely pubescent go-go dancers.

this is totally not my scene.

however, from the crowd of familar strangers enters a man holding a martini glass that utters the words - 'midtown shuffle'.

emc had 'unveiled' himself to me. lol.

how fun. i knew him...but i didnt. we had talked...but we hadnt.
the blogsphere is great.

some people dismiss this as a glorified journal....and to some extent it is. but its a way to communicate emotions, feelings...to share ideas...

and thru it, we get to know eachother...we form our own prejudices...develop our opinions...in a way that is free from the wetbar environment. we get a chance to see this life of ours thru the eyes of others.

you get inside the head, we get behind the actions. we see it how others view it.

now, how cool is that?

port this!

2005-04-28T22:56:00.000-04:00

so i've been absent from the blogsphere for about a week. why? well, this isnt a copout:
its been a crazy week at work.

let me just say - if your supervisor comes to you and says, 'guess what kids!?! everything you have been working on for the past 6 yrs...well, we are gonna move it all to new boxes...on a different platform...with new databases... '- run for the hills.

its called 'porting'.

this lil' project, while immensely important...has consumed my being for the past 3 weeks and has pushed back mounds of work.

average arrival time at rugby practice: 815pm!

tonight, however, i need the therapy of typing out my thoughts. so i'm willing to be a little more groggy tomorrow than i would have already been...just to get this out. get ready...here it comes! :)

yet ANOTHER reason to switch to apple

2005-04-22T12:06:00.000-04:00

microsoft, microsoft, microsoft....have you no shame?

besides the fact that 'longhorn' (the next windows os) sounds an awlful lot like 'tiger' - i mean really, have they had any original ideas in the past 3 decades? - you have to go and pull a stunt like this. tsk, tsk.

from the new york times:
The Microsoft Corporation, at the forefront of corporate gay rights for decades, is coming under fire from gay rights groups, politicians and its own employees for withdrawing its support for a state bill that would have barred discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Many of the critics accused the company of bowing to pressure from a prominent evangelical church in Redmond, Wash., located a few blocks from Microsoft's sprawling headquarters. [READ ON]

its not you i'm mad at...its the DIRT!

2005-04-20T23:25:00.000-04:00

found the screen on the green schedule...
get ready...it looks like a great season!

Thu, June 2: 'Some Like It Hot'

Thu, June 9: 'To Kill A Mockingbird'

Thu, June 16: 'The Birds'

Thu, June 23: 'Mommie Dearest' (!!!)

Thu, June 30: 'Grease'

movies start at sunset at the 10th st meadow.

best time of the year?

2005-04-19T22:26:00.000-04:00

so today was beautiful. top down on my jeep, a little ben watt in my car cd (thanks tb it rocks!)..some tds in my belly and the lights of the city skyline before me. truly wonderful.

actually, the past week has been AMAZING.
80 degrees during the day, 50 during the night - blue skies, a nice breeze.

i'm sitting out on my patio typing this...enjoying a nice glass of wine and discussing with a colleague of mine - via im - whether this is the best time of the year here in the atl.

i tend to think october is the best month - same type of set up: 80 during the day, 50 at night - but NO pollen. :)
april definitely comes in a closesecond, followed by september.

atlanta has the reputation for being obnoxiously hot and sticky during the summer.

i want everyone to know - that is a falsehood. in fact, on average, the cities in the northeast hit 90 or higher well before the atl. in fact, if you looked into it, i would be willing to bet that nyc, philly and washington all have higher 'record high' temps than atlanta.

see we are consistently VERY warm - mid june thru the end of august is 88/65 with a chance of tstorms. by contrast, the northeast has roller coaster temps...heat waves with highs in the upper 90s, 100s then cool waves with highs in the 70s.

you may not realise this - but atlanta is high - approximately 1000 ft. above sea level...the cities of the northeast are nearly at sea level...and down wind of higher terrain which with a predominant west wind creates 'compressional heating' - downsloping. they warm up MUCH quicker than us - provided the wind doesnt come off the chilly atlantic waters.

okay enough with meteo 101.

SO...what do you think? when is the best time of year?

do not pass go, do not collect $200

2005-04-17T03:01:00.000-04:00

so tonight i saw two geriatric guys masturbating in the hall of the heretic...and got 'thank'd' by a guy for rejecting him like a year ago...if those aren't signs to throw in the towel on an evening, i'm not sure what would be.

what the hell?

i'm not glass

2005-04-16T02:41:00.000-04:00

its times like this i kinda miss my old roomie.

okay.

i DO miss my roomie.

tb and i lived together for nearly 4 yrs...and with as much grief as i gave him for never understanding me and my feelings - i KNOW he understood me.

he and i are going after the same thing, we just have different paths on getting there.

regardless, it would be drunk nights like tonight when we would come back from the bar, plop myself down on his bed and i would swoon over loves lost, yet to be, or never meant. he would always have some witty thing to say...some nugget of wisdom and it would either make me MAD or make me realise i was not alone in my feelings.

i miss that.

tonight, i had another run in with 'crush'. i think i'm nuts because his mere presence makes me feel uneasy and vulnerable.
my nervousness made me strike up a conversation with the twink couple chilling out next to me on the 'tic patio.

ugh.

i'm a great, sincere guy - have alot to offer someone - and attractive to boot.
i need to do a better job of portraying my confidence.

its there...i flaunt it at other times...just need to do it when it counts.

nobody is attracted to insecurities.

google this!

2005-04-15T15:41:00.000-04:00

check this out....pretty snazzy. click on the satellite button and get zoomable satellite imagery (of buildings and whatnot - NOT- clouds).

what will they think of next. :)

i surrender

2005-04-12T21:01:00.000-04:00

its that time of year...pollen season.

for those of you up north, its heading your way too. that said, the atl is imfamous for its spring pollen.

most folks feel extreme affects of the little aerosols when the count rises above 120. today in atlanta, the count was over 5263!

i guess its the price we pay for living in 'the city from the jungle'.

this morning when i woke up - for the first time - i couldnt open my eyes. do you know what that feels like when you can NOT see?!? coughing, sneezing, head about to explode.

i emailed work to let them know it just wasnt gonna happen today, and i went back to sleep (after the 'price is right' tho ;) )

my only hope was the chance of rain today - it would clean the air. well, its now 9pm and save some distant lightning to the north, it hasnt rained a drop.

god help us. how much higher can the count go?!

'c' is for cookie carb

2005-04-11T14:18:00.000-04:00

apparently, nothing is sacred these days.

it looks like our dear friend 'the cookie monster' has been getting some slack for craving those confectionary creations. it teaches kids bad eating habits and leads to obese children.

duh.

while we are at it, what about the 'count'? i mean come on - he's a VAMPIRE for crying out loud. besides sucking the blood out of poor defenseless virgins, he lives in a dank, dingy castle. have you seen the cobwebs in his place? combine that with 'oscar the grouch' - who's always pissed off and lives in a garbage can - and it no wonder why my apartment is a wreck and i've been in a bad mood for 28 yrs.

...and we all know about 'bert' and 'ernie' - those bath tub scenes - but what kind of message are we sending children about body care maintenance?

bert, loose the unibrow buddy, come on.

now that i think about it, its no wonder we are so f$&^%cked up. its ALL sesame streets fault.

four words for ya: GET OVER IT PEOPLE!

i'm pretty bleeding heart, but don't be messin' with my 'children's television workshop'.

i have to draw the line somewhere.

who is the more important dead person?

2005-04-10T22:58:00.000-04:00

found this on BlondeSense...she makes a great point. its well worth the click.

there's no DOG in Dogwood Festival

2005-04-09T02:13:00.000-04:00

this evening abs and i went for a stroll thru piedmont park. its the start of the dogwood festival and i knew it would be a feeding frenzy for the eyes. i recalled last year during straight pride (dogwood fest) that there were restrictions to where pups were allowed. they do this because soooo many people jam the park, it can be overwhelming for pooches.

at anyrate, i dawned my ipod, grabbed the leash and off abs and i went; she LOVES the park. i think it may only rank second to the beach. i was careful to avoid crowds...look for 'no dog' signs - there were none.

in front of the pool house, the georgia state patrol was making good use of its time keeping the area devoid of four legged creatures. i mean, come on people, what ELSE could they be doing.

as we approached the pool house, one of the patrolmen motioned for me. i knew what he was gonna say - ' no dogs allowed in this part of the park, take it down to the dog park'. i replied, 'alright, will do'. at that moment, nd spotted me and ran over to say hello. she was volunteering for the event as she normally does.

i commented on how ironic that the dogwood festival doesnt allow dogs...and we parted.

but as i turned to leave i recalled jp's trip to cairo and wondered if nd had any news on his status there (explosion, etc).

thats when officer friendly decided he'd had enough of me.

'boy' (yes he said boy - i mean come on this isnt the 50s and i'm not in a gay porn)...'boy, i tooold you to leave. now you get out of here unless you want trouble. you want trouble?'

UH?

'see your dog is scaring the children'

now if i were drunk, angry, disrespectful, a thug, causing problems....or if abby was going nuts...i could understand.

but i was minding my own business, ipod on, and abby - believe it or not - was sitting like a good girl.
i was steamed.

needless to say, there WILL be a letter sent to piedmont park and the dogwood festival.

oh, and you know where dogs ARE allowed? the competition area for purina one and gee they let us have the dog park. getting to either location requires levitating or parachuting in because you can NOT walk across the park to get there - heaven forbid.

cairo's not a blast

2005-04-08T21:08:00.000-04:00

jp and pdr headed off to cairo yesterday. thats one of many things i adore about those guys. i've truly gotten to appreciate jp, in particular, since he's left atlanta. i'm not quite sure why that is, but i'm looking forward to their return to the states this summer. trust me i will be up there alot - tb, jp - its a no brainer.

ANYWAY...there was an explosion in cario yesterday - one american killed...several injured. THANK GOD jp/pdr were not there. be careful boys (and take lots of pictures - NOT of the blast, hot guys of course!) :)

$36.53

2005-04-08T11:47:00.000-04:00

thats how much i spent on gas today.

i make it a habit to get my gas in cobb county. perhaps one of the best things about this vial county, is its cheap gas (they dont have the gobs of taxes for transit that fulton and dekalb impose). i figure that i'm paying for transit on my cable bill - yes CABLE bill - i can get my gas where i work in cobb.

my car was running on fumes...the lowest i've gotten it. much the same could be said about my state this week. i've been reeling from my nyc 'adventure'. 'naps' opposed to 'sleep' has finally taken its toll and my average bedtime has been around 930p.

its been a struggle...
...but worth it.

for better or worse, this past weekend most likely represents the last time that group of friends would get together. lets be honest, getting that many gurls together to do anything is amazing. but additionally, time, enivornment is dictating we go elsewhere.

i'm looking forward to visiting tb again under quieter terms (okay, not TOO quiet :) )

he's got a point

2005-04-06T00:05:00.000-04:00

found this on the 'net this past weekend.

this piece is from the bbc and i have to admit - as disgusted as i was with the schiavo case - the system does indeed work.

The founding fathers, with a wisdom which truly does echo down the ages, decided that there would be a separation of powers.

General laws would be made by politicians representing the people, but then interpreted and applied by judges.
The reason is simple, to limit the power of government to interfere in any individuals life.

If you can convince the courts that you are legally in the right, then no politician, even the president himself in his pyjamas and on his high horse, can stop you.

...

It is common to mock at American attempts to export Jeffersonian democracy, but after these two weeks the mocking should stop.

after (the) party

2005-04-05T13:38:00.000-04:00

so i've arrived back from nyc. it was tb's 30 bday extravaganza and 15 of us flew up there to 'help' him celebrate.
getting 15 queens anywhere can be a challenge so kudos to jy for pulling it off - as a surprise no less!

...but wow what a weekend. there's no other place like new york...and thats probably a good thing. its a great city - dont get me wrong, but by the end of the weekend i found myself longing for my green, sleepy, little metropolis.

QUIET TIME
friday - since i arrived ahead of most folks and had to avoid chelsea for fear of running into tb - i took the c train up to the museum of natural history.

as they say, half the fun is getting there....and no where else is that more true than in new york. i absolutely love the subway - its convenient, fast, and ALL walks of life utilize it. not to mention it was a nice refuge from the foggy, drizzly, COLD day outside.

the museum of natural history was something i'd wanted to see for yrs. most times i am up in the city, im there for rugby and i've done limited 'touristy stuff'...so i took this 'brad time' to go see the sights.

once i had gotten my fill of all things 'natural' and 'historic', i decided to brave the elements and walk across central park. i have to admit with the park being so cold and damp, the buildings shrouded in the fog and just witnessing the birth of the universe and the origin of man - i was a little intraspective.

i'd always thought that i might want to live in new york. afterall this is THE CITY, but with this trip, i've realized that, at least for now, atlanta is my home.

PASTA WITH THE MOB
folks began arriving at our hotel in the late afternoon. the hotel chelsea was an experience. all sorts of characters have stayed there and the rooms - well, lets just say it was NOT the w. but it fit the bill for the weekend so no complaints from this corner.

the plan was to gather in the hotel bar and surprise tb. i was positive that he knew something was up, but he was genuinely surprised. afterall, like i said, its difficult to get 15 boys to do anything. several mandarin and tonics later, we shuffled off to little italy for carb fest 2005.

the courses just kept coming, and coming, and coming. it was nuts. perhaps all the wine/beer and constant barge of food was meant to distract us from the posse of men counting money in the corner...and it was ALOT of money. our maitre d' may have been irish, but these fellas were definitely italian.

i guess it was authentic.

TESTING THE WATER
it WAS a friday night afterall...our first in the city...so hitting at least a few choice clubs was definitely in order. we had heard thru the grapevine that susan morabito was spinning at splash! so off we went. in theory - friday night was going to be 'quiet'. the best laid plans...

the next thing i knew, it was 7am and one of my roommates for the weekend wanted to hit the 'today show'.
note to self - dont try to do this while drunk. lets just say, we misread the map and 4 subway lines later, we were taking a taxi back to hotel sketch.

THE EYE OF THE STORM
after what most would claim as a nap - i called it sleep - we met up at 'the dish' for a late brunch. french toast, eggs, ham - oh and of course a mimosa (and coffee...lots of coffee!)

sw and i peeled off from the group post-lunch and did a little shopping. just down 8th ave was a neat lil' store called bang bang...and not to mention a hottie guy dressing the window (yum)...let me say this - HOT guys, ALL kinds of guys in new york. so the eye candy up and down 8th ave was intense. :)

later saturday, tb, jy, rb, jh and myself headed up to the guggenheim. it was again rainy and nasty outside so heading uptown to look at famous pieces of art seemed to fit nicely with the day.

apparently, everyone else had a similar idea. the museum was packed...and by the time we left the upper eastside, i was ready to another one of those 'naps'.

LET THE SPIRIT FILL YOU
the plans were set, the boys primped, cash flowed and off we went to the roxy to hear dj chad jack spin. i had taken earplugs with me because i remembered how loud the music there can be - but upon wading out into the sea of hot, sweat, shirtless men i reached into my pocket for the plugs and they were gone. must have fallen out at some point in the night. i'm still having a hard time wih sound - a circuit injury.

as the night went on the music got progressively more intense and before i knew it 5am had me begging to keep the party going. luckily in the city that never sleeps - neither were we.

jr vasquez was spinning at an afterhours party in what use to be twilo - but is now called spirit. okay, fun! jr was into it. i however was in a spot where i couldnt handle another push or shove - so i headed to the balcony and danced up there.

there were ALL kinds of people there straight and gay. it reminded me of those backstreet days of yesteryear - 'cept with good music and not nearly as dirty.

i was the last person from our group to leave...and it was LATE or is that EARLY? i walked home (after pleading with the coat check ladies to give me my coat after i lost the ticket - MESSY!).

SQUARE PEGS, ROUND HOLES, AND ME
i realized something that night (besides that if i lived in nyc i would probably die - there was actually an after after party! are these people human?)...eventhough my expectations for group dynamics that weekend were low - they werent low enough. the chapter i had just closed, was reopened. i thought somehow things might have been a little different, but they werent.

i'm okay with that.

the only person you can change - who's actions count and you can control - is yourself.
thanks to sw for helping me out that morning when i returned...if i was MESSY when i left spirit - i was a WRECK 7 blocks later.

i needed some sleep, and i needed it bad.

TAKE ME TO THE CHURCH
heading into my last 24hrs in THE CITY, one of two things could happen: 1) i could do something low key or 2) throw it into overdrive.

for better or worse, i chose the later - along with nearly the complete gang. there were two spots off 10th ave we heard got hopping sunday evening. we stopped by 'the park' for free well drinks - free anything in new york is a plus so we indulged.

while we were there i totally got called out by 'ted' one of the bartenders. he saw me the night before at spirit. apparently, we both had late nights. around midnight, we moved the party down the street to 'hiro' in the maritime building.

it was packed...luckily tho, a friend knew somebody there and was able to reserve a table.
guess who was sitting next to us? boy george. crazy.

but what was crazier (esp after i'm reviewing how much clubbing we actually did - and seeing how long this blog entry is!) was us heading to 'avalon' - but we did. avalon on 6th ave is a converted church and was huge....sadly the crowd was not. earlier in the evening we learned a fire alarm had gone off and people fled the building.

oh well. we danced, and we danced, and we danced. one of our friends had lived in nyc before and happened to spot chad jack (the dj from roxy) and knew him well enough to introduce us.

what a nice guy!

he, jason walker, tj, our friend and myself headed to a diner for a late night snack. how random, right?

all and all, a fun evening, but walking home in daylight with people going to work (at this point it IS monday morning) - not so much.

(oh, and btw, chad jack has emailed me and wants to chat on the phone - apparently i left an impression!)

TOUCHDOWN
monday was rest and recovery.

sw and i had a flight back to the atl around 6pm, so there was plenty of time. we chilled over at tb's pad in chelsea.
geesh what a weekend? by the time i made it to newark, i was exhausted. the plane ride would be a time of rest - or so i thought.

yes, i HAD to be on a plane packed with high schoolers going back to the atl after singing at carnegie hall. it was THE LOUDEST PLANE RIDE EVER. the worst was when i was awakened somewhere over virginia.

about 10 of these kids stood up and sang to the plane - what the !&@%@? that many people standing on a plane has to violate some TSA or FAA law. its got to. how do i know these kids weren't part of the militant choir singing branch of al qeda?!

i was never happier to hear some one shut up. :)

so i made it back...a few 100 bucks shorter, parts of my brain and liver hovering in space somewhere over spirit but with one heck of an experience.

i've done the club thing in new york now.

krakatoa kills

2005-03-30T16:33:00.000-05:00

the past few days have been annoying.

work has been nuts - we are 'switching' servers...any time we 'switch' anything, there are headaches, but all and all, work has been good for the past 2 months, so i was overdue for some stress.

yesterday evening, i decided to chill at home. i opened the windows, let abs out on the porch, started some laundry, made a huge bowl of pasta, poured some wine and laid out on the couch. it was great.

just me, abby and pbs.

have you ever been watching that channel and found yourself sucked into a program? it happens to me all the time. its addicting - but maybe thats because i am a big geek. this binge-fest was on 'krakatoa: the great eruption' and 'killer tsunamis'.

kinda downers, but definitely stimulated the mind...makes you realize there are just somethings, we as humans, cant control.

news or opinions?

2005-03-28T07:54:00.000-05:00

what has happened to news coverage these days?
do they report the facts? or a repurposed, slanted viewpoint on the facts.

i'm watching 'fox and friends'.
why? i dunno i like getting enraged at 8 in the morning.

honestly people, when are we going to file a law suit on this whole 'fair and balanced' claim?
its false advertising...and most americans are dumb enough to believe it.

its interesting to watch the conservative news outlets - such as fox - squirm. (and btw, cnn is no angel this go round either!)

they, along with many senate and house republicans...and lets not forget the president...have painted themselves into a corner. they have aligned themselves with radical conservatives...and not the public.

a vast majority of americans disapprove with the governments involvement in the schiavo case...and over 59% of EVANGELICAL christians APPROVE of the removal of the feeding tube. listening to fox this am you would think otherwise.

the amount of emotion these wingnuts are putting into this case is sickening. and what they are portraying - an america that has some how gone off course, has no morals, 'culture of death', "we'll soon be killing the handicapped!" - is further distancing themselves from the populace. (good!)

BUT, somehow, we, as americans, seem to forget these stunts when voting time comes 'round. eg. iraq!

as steve gilliard notes on his blog:

Iraq's effect on people is limited. The idea of the government siding with your inlaws is not. And the radical right pundits were even scarier than Congress. Seize her, ignore the judge. Uh, people left El Salvador, Cuba, Eastern Europe behind that kind of lawmaking. Americans may hate lawyers, but like the law. And they don't like politicians.

ugh. i'm nauseous.

i need to turn the channel, i dont want to inflate their ratings any more than necessary.

what a difference a day makes

2005-03-27T23:57:00.000-05:00

yesterday was pretty warm - 80 some degrees, bright sunshine - perfect "park weather".

today was cloudy, rainy, bad storms...and it was kinda chilly (ok it was like 70...but it was noticable).

it seems that just like the weather, my confidence wanned a bit over the course of the past two days.

last night at jungle, i felt like i was on fire. last night was about me. i even scored a phone number - by a very attractive, sweet, muscle guy. on the tray-brad 'guy jeopardy' scale, he'd be 'brad's type for $400, alex' (in double jeopardy). only tb probably understands that...but oh well. ;)....OH and i might add, the guy was quite shy about approaching me. uh? thats my job - to be the shy one. i'll buzz him tomorrow night.

at anyrate, last night was quite the ego/self-esteem booster. it felt good.

tonight on the other hand...wasnt so much the polar opposite until i spotted my 'crush'. i met 'crush' a month or so ago at the chair, and in typical brad fashion i planted my foot firmly in my mouth upon chatting with him.

it was one of those instances in which you wish life had 'do overs'.

*sigh* not so much.

fast forward to tonight...in a sea of hot, shirtless men at the annual easter t-dance (me of course dawning my bunny ears and cotton tail - traditions, awww)...i couldnt help but spy 'crush'.

not only is he handsome (adorable), intelligent, got his sh*t together, but he's got this really warm vibe that i havent felt in a while. i kinda get butterflies. (i know - BLAH!)

we chit chatted for a little bit on the balcony at eleven50. ugh. i realize i shouldnt care what he thinks of me, but when you get butterflies...you kinda feel vulnerable.

its funny how one little run in like that can deflate or inflate your entire mood. i guess i should be stronger than that, eh? (i can hear tb saying 'dont be glass brad') but there are certain people that just have that pull on ya. the funny thing is i barely know the fella.

am i nuts? thinking too much?

probably both.

i will move

2005-03-26T21:47:00.000-05:00

if this man becomes lt. governor, i WILL MOVE.
period.

end of story...UGH!

(thats ralph reed, former head of the christian coalition)

spring!

2005-03-26T19:59:00.000-05:00

so it was 80F today. the second day in a row.

my eyes are itchy. i'm coughing...the trees are budding, the queens are out in full force. the sun is shining, blake's is packed and joes takes 1.5 hrs to get a table, flowers are blooming.

yes, this is spring time in the atl.

i took the top off the jeep yesterday...sw and i did what any self respectin' gay boy would do to celebrate the beautiful weather - we went shopping.

up georgia 400 we went to the outlets. i have to admit, though i didnt really get anything ('cept a few shorts), i LOVE driving my jeep with the top down. so it was well worth the $30 bucks i spent in gas.

when we got back to the city (the outlets are about 45 min north nearly in the foothills), i got a buzz from bm to meet for cocktails at joes.

WOW.

as i said to sw, all the fruit groups were represented. the place was jammin'.

quite a day to be honest. i had my standard 'dreamsicle - no oj'...several times. and just when i thought it couldnt get any better - i heard a whistle in the distance.

aw yes. baton bob - dress in bunny ears, a cotton tail - came prancing down juniper.

he even did a little performance on the joe's patio!

the boys i was hanging with, decided they would hit the clubs tonight - i'm game. afterall, next weekend i'm back on the rugby road...so best make the most of this weekend!

we'll see where this day ends up....

only from a gay man

2005-03-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

just got back from dn and i's bi-weekly thursday night bowl-a-rama.

ja from the channel turned me onto this...every other thursday, a gaggle of gay men head to little mexico (aka out buford hwy) to go bowling and drink beer for a few hours.

omg...its been so much fun...and the guys are super nice (not to mention daddilicious ;) ).

at anyrate, the atmosphere was a bit competitive - in a good way of course - and i'm happy to report i broke 100 both games (thats big news for me - lol). as has become typical with these nights, i met several new people and few future ex-boyfriends ;) ac was one in particular..a little taller than me, kinda balding, nice bulld, tan...scruffy face...YUM.

*a hem* i digress.

here were all these burly men, drinking beer, talking sports...and 'darrin' introduces himself to me. and how does 'darrin' help me remember his name? why of course - "the name's darrin, as in bewitched."

uh?!

i dunno, just kinda struck me.

gay men are great. you never hear straight men talking sports, beer, and bewitched.

its fun to be so free, know?

i've been found!

2005-03-24T12:37:00.000-05:00

sooo...me starting this blog was never *intended* to be a secret. but in the back of my mind, i did wonder how long it would take before i was 'discovered'.

well, today the im blopped on my screen from tb:
'ah-ha!' he said. 'started a blog and didn't tell anyone.'

i played dumb, but as tb said 'you should know by now...i'm always watching you'.
even from nyc, i can't shake the watchful eye. :)

so YUPPER. i've started this thing.

to be honest, even if i ramble on about nothingness for pages and pages, so far (there were other entries i've since deleted), its been therapeutic - if not mildly addicting.

seems this blog thing is quite the phenomenon. i'm hooked.

if they only knew...

2005-03-23T16:50:00.000-05:00

the parents motored on into the atl this past weekend. they came to see me - of course - but also to celebrate with lukie on his cd release at eddie's attic.

j and j LOVE lukie and his music.

i've been trying to have better patience with the folks. we are all getting older - i see them more as my friends now, and my tolerance with their qwirks has increased (several mandarin and tonics help too ;) ). but trust me, s, t and i are going to have our hands full with the 'rents. i see both my grandparents in them....i'm getting chills. (another mandarin/tonic pls!).

needless to say, we had a blast...and thanks to sw and jb for driving us back into the city.

that saturday we headed up to chattavegas for a rugby match (its about 1.5 hrs north of the city). per usual for the bad news bears for rugby (did you know they are remaking that movie?!?), we lost - BUT we did get our first score of the season! that 'nooga team rocks. perhaps the most fun we have had this season - so far.

when we got back into town, my mom was dead set on hitting 'gladys knight's chicken and biscuits'. lord. in all honesty, it was a fun little adventure and by the time we got done eating, the seniors were ready for bed.

the calls came in early that evening - don bishop (of janet jackson fame ;) ) was to spin at jungle (ugh). this day and age in atlanta gay nightlife, we take what we get. i took my usual perch and scanned the crowd...and it was CROWDED. EVERYBODY was out - except sw. heck, i even ran into eh from raleigh...looking studly as ever.

long story short, i was out way, way, WAY too late - esp given the parents were leaving the in am.

meanwhile, i'd been trying to make connections with jp and pdr all weekend. jp is one of those people i just adore. he has such a great energy and always ends up being the highlight of any event or trip...and this weekend was no exception. after chatting with him for a bit sunday morning, we agreed to meet back up later in the evening. he had been invited by the maestro to grab dinner at alfredos - this italian joint out cheshire bridge we swear is run by the mob. i'd always wanted to go and the combo of jp, the maestro and authentic italian was too good to refuse.

man - what a dinner - on so many levels. the food, of course, was amazing. the energy from the cast of characters was great. and the conversations - omg - if people only knew. not to paraphrase things too much, but it hovered around sex...and in particular sex with me. i went with the flow, admitted some fetishes and ajourned after consuming quite possibly a bottle of wine by myself!

at the risk of rambling on further, i'll end it here. but needless to say, my sniffles this week are most likely a direct result of a couple crazy nights this past weekend...oh, and totally energized for jp and pdr's return to life in the states come summer (congrats again pdr!).

sad, funny but true

2005-03-22T23:21:00.001-05:00

on the lighter(?) side of the schiavo case...found this video on crooks and liars this morning.

i think john stewart really captures my frustrations with this case.

what is going on in our government? does the rest of america see the importance of this case?

2006 looks so much more important.
register to vote NOW!

i'm disgusted

2005-03-21T22:14:00.000-05:00

the terri schiavo law.

i feel bad for her family...i feel bad for her.
without the feeding tube, she will have to die via dehydration, though she will not feel it.

perhaps i'm a bit of an alarmist...but honestly, this congress has set an extremely BAD precedent. its the role of the judiciary branches of our govt to interpret and enforce the laws of our land. making those laws is up the legislative branch.

it seems though, that in this day, any congressperson can essentially overturn any decision made in a lower court by quickly making a law to intervene.

this is a states rights and judiciary issue, and the congress is interfering where - according to the constitution and history - it SHOULD NOT tread.

what happens when the federal judge - who should view the facts, review the laws and base their decision upon that - upholds the same decision? does this only 'end' when the courts make a decision that is viewed as 'good' by the congress?

what the !@&*^?

this assault on the courts amounts to nothing more than congressional and presidential bullying masked under the battle call of 'culture of life'.

and YES, we give murders sentenced to death row (something the bushies support - respect life, right?) a federal judiciary review....you know why?

because you and i...OUR GOVT is killing a person.

PERIOD.

WE place that person - who was previously free - onto the table or into the chair...and WE kill that person. so yea, we better make damn well sure that the person is guilty.

19 judges, 15 yrs, a panel of 5 doctors...what is going to change in the review? by not reinserting the feeding tube, michael is NOT killing terri...he is allowing her to die.

something the courts have determined, terri would have wanted.

we have been in a war for 2 yrs and soldiers can't get monies appropriated for body armour...the dollar is pulmetting as we get further and further into debt with foriegn countries... yet this congress can be called into a special session for 1 -ONE- person...i'm really disgusted.

this isnt about terri...living wills...no, all this does is further the republican agenda.

next up, replacing those activist, federal judges and then onto abortion.

karl rove couldnt have done a better job himself.